If you are looking for a parenting handbook, look no further. The Family Virtues Guide written by Linda Kavelin Popov offers you a manual that delivers the best foundation possible of how to raise a child in any culture or society.

Her ‘Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves’ contain valuable insights in who our children really are, parenting principles and practices and how to apply The Family Virtues Guide in your family.

A description of 52 ‘Gifts Within’  helps to understand each virtue, why to practice it, how to practice it, how to recognise when a virtue is practised and when it needs more attention as well as an affirmation and a drawing to visualise an example.

It is a book that should be given or at least recommended to each new parent – the earlier the better.

Have a look inside and find out why The Family Virtues Guide is one of those books that have the potential to make the world a better place – one person at a time!

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. – John F. Kennedy

How is Gratitude related to the relief, management or prevention of stress?

It has been a big challenge for me to be grateful when I was younger and when things happened that either made no sense at that time, that confused me or that I did not like/want to be an experience in my life.

When I was challenged I tended to get upset either with myself, others or the situation.

As you can imagine neither of this was very effective in terms of moving on. The worst experience was when I found out that my (then) husband had an affair with my best friend. That moment I felt like drawn into a black hole, spiraling downwards.

I went through the whole spectrum of negative emotions: anger, sadness, frustration, self-pity, fear, grief, aggression and once through started all over again. Only a few friends who really cared about me dared to be physically and mentally close when the ‘fire horse’ in me came out and the volcano was braking loose.

Today I have the deepest respect for these friends – I really wasn’t a pleasure to be around.

Fast forward 10 years. A few months ago I reconnected with ‘the adulteress’. To be honest, I was very surprised myself when I felt the need to get in contact with her. Even more as she tried to apologise for what happened and there was no way I would have even listened.

It feels really odd now to use the word adulteress, because this is not how I see her any more. Today I can see the pain that she went through herself. I no longer feel any kind of stress calling her name, while before I almost felt physical pain when I even only thought of her.

Besides time of course, there is one virtue that helped me to see this event differently now:

Gratitude

By practising Nuad Thai – Traditional Thai Massage and studying its roots in Buddhist tradition as well as becoming a life coach I learned to take responsibility for my actions and my non-actions.

Instead of blaming others, I rather look for the gift in the situation and ask myself better questions:

What can I learn to avoid/do better next time?
How does this help me to grow?
How can I use this to become a better person?

By establishing some resources like a trusted source, a coach I can share insights with, journaling and meditation it is now easy and almost effortless to tap onto the power of Gratitude.

A heartfelt Thank-You to whoever you pray to invites harmony and instant relief to your life. The answer is often a knowing deep inside, that once you have accepted the gift of the situation as an opportunity for learning and growth, it will no longer cause any physical or mental stress.

How to practice Gratitude

Practising Gratitude is very easy. To start with, ask yourself a simple question:

What happened today that you could choose to be grateful for?

Maybe a you got a smile from a stranger, someone picked up your bag when it fell down, you got a nice call from a friend…

Even the simplest things can be a great source to experience Gratitude: the song of a bird, the beauty of a tree, the blue of the sky, a raindrop on a leaf…

Once you get in the habit of practising Gratitude for the small things, you will find it easier see the hidden presents in a situation that is more challenging.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. – Albert Schweitzer

Every person has a story and we are all connected.

The story of ‘The Little Soul And The Sun‘ by Neale Donald Walsh gives an insight of how each of us is a shining light and why sometimes the ones that bring us the biggest pain are those we need to show our deepest appreciation. (A review and summary will be available soon).

The Gift Of Gratitude

By practising Gratitude you will connect with your higher spirit. This is one of the most powerful resources to increase the balance of your body, mind & spirit and will help you to stay much more relaxed when the road of life gets a bit bumpy and challenging.

I would like to share my gratitude for the organiser of the eco fiesta and lifestyle expo, who put together a wonderful event that enabled me to connect with new prospective and re-connect with existing friends.

My deepest appreciation goes to my husband Thomas and my son Noah, who support me unconditionally in everything that I do and who enrich my life beyond words.

To all my existing clients: your appreciation for my work makes my days. You are all precious to me and I cherish our relationship no matter how often or seldom we see each other.

Without the people who read this, I would just be talking to myself, so my Gratitude includes you as well.

And before this starts to sound like the acknowledgements in the foreword of a book, I stop here – curious to hear what you are grateful for today, tomorrow and the day after. Please share your thoughts and insights below. Thank you.

Out of twelve only one interpretation comes close to a meaning of Surrender that I prefer most:

To give up in favour of another

The question is: of another What?

Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice. Better than knowledge is meditation. But better still is surrender of attachment to results, because there follows immediate peace. – Bhagavad Gita

The Meaning of Surrender

I found that the mainstream belief about Surrender is that you have to give up something that you like or would like to have, like winning an argument for example. But what if the true meaning of Surrender is to attain something?

What if instead of insisting on ‘being right’ in a discussion you would surrender to the other person(s) point of view and gain insights that you otherwise would have missed?

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to Surrender what you are for what you could become. – Author unknown

Surrender goes hand in hand with Faith. They work best together and to embrace one fully, it is essential to accept the other too.

Once you can Surrender to Faith, the power of this combination will start to reveal itself to you in almost miraculous ways.

If you choose to accept the interpretation above for Surrender,  you can tap into the secret of true and lasting change that separates the ones who `try´ from the ones that actually achieve a permanent transformation.

Faith and Surrender – A Power Team

Change is mainly a two step process with a presupposition:

The assumption that needs to be accepted is that change is possible at all and can be done by yourself.

1. First you identify the  behaviour or belief  you want to change,
2. then you replace it with a new one.

If you give yourself permission to have Faith and to Surrender, you will feel a kind of acceptance and peace.

It was when I surrendered and trusted that I have every resource I need within me, when I was able to do things that took me a lot of courage to do like

• my first jump from a boat into the open sea (quite a big thing when you are as afraid of sharks as I am)
• leading a night dive
• Bungee Jumping

or that seem to be impossible like

• braking a wooden board without even touching it
• pricking a straw through an apple or
• breaking an arrow (that was put with its tip on my throat and was broken by leaning against it)

It was in the moment of making the conscious decision to Surrender my fears in exchange for Trust when I felt connected to the mighty power that is within everybody who dares to take that step and I know that Surrender will be my secret shield when I do a fire walk with Anthony Robbins. (More about these “Out with old excuses. In with new goals.”- events here )

The power of Surrender

Maybe you have experienced a similar moment. Maybe you did even scarier things like a sky dive or jumping out of a plane. Maybe you had really scary or life threatening moments when you thought you would die and when you then Surrendered to that possibility you have been given a second chance to live…

If you have, you will agree that the ‘Team Faith/Surrender‘ was there to support you and you will be able to remember how it felt to ‘be in the moment’ when everything around you happens like in slow motion.

Do you remember how radiant, vibrant, alive, excited, vivid and energetic you felt afterwards? How would you have completed this sentence:

“If I can do/survive this,…..  “?

If you haven’t had this kind of experience yet, when would be a good time to get out of your comfort zone and try something new (of course I am not talking about causing an accident here, right?)?
What would be one thing that you have put of until now, knowing that if you finally did it, it would make the difference in moving forward in your career, relationship or somehow else in your life?

What would it take to make that step?

Surrender – it will set yourself free.

Popular examples for an external universal trusted sources are God, Jesus, Mary, Allah, Buddha, Mohammed, Odin, Zeus, Grace, …
Their main characteristic is that they would know everybody’s purpose or answers to each person’s questions about life.

An external personal source could be a deceased loved one or a personal angel who is specifically assigned to you and only knows and cares about your purpose, no one else’s.

an internal source is something that you see as being a part of your self (but NOT your unconscious mind). It is an aspect of your psyche that can provide the answers you are looking for in terms of your purpose or other important aspects of your life.

There are three criteria that need to be fulfilled in order to define a trusted source:

You need to believe that

• it exists
• it already knows your purpose
• you can communicate with each other

You can learn more about trusted source and 12 Strategies for Discovering the Difference You Are Meant to Make in Tim Kelley’ book True Purpose.

In fact, responsibility is one of the key indicators to living authentically and taking your life in your own hands.

Responsibility is the thing people dread most of all. Yet it is the one thing in the world that develops us, gives us manhood or womanhood fiber. – Frank Crane

What Responsibility is not

Even though responsibility may appear to be an opportunity to load blame on someone else’s shoulder, this is not what it is about. This perception comes from misunderstanding the concept of responsibility.

When I was working in my first job as a sales representative in a (then) big company that produced, sold and maintained sewing machines, I was the PA to the Head of Department for Overseas Sales. He had a weird concept of responsibility:

Everything had to be reported to and endorsed by him, yet when something went wrong it was always us – the ones who were in “the lower hierachie” – who had to face the music.

While every day he gave us a lecture about how generously he gave us responsibility and freedom of choice how to get to a certain result, in fact there was only one way things had to be done: his.

If you are familiar with the term “This is how we do things, because they have always been done that way!”, you may be able to comprehend how not only frustrating, but also confusing it felt to get these contradictory messages.

Assigning responsibility to someone is not meant to be an excuse for having someone to blame in case something ‘goes wrong’ or does not work out as planned.
Neither is it meant to be a punishment as in “you asked for it, now deal with it”.

What is Responsibility?

Responsibility is a gift.

It is an opportunity to deal with an unexpected situation and find a satisfying solution, to make a choice how we want to respond to an event.

Things happen that we can’t control or influence, but what we can choose is our response to what is happening. Our response is always a choice.

Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them. – Tom Stoppard

Here is an interesting equation:

Responsibility = Choice; Choice = Power;  that means:

Responsibility = Power, right? Right!

The Power is yours

The moment you choose to take on responsibility for your actions and for your non-actions is the beginning of a new life, a life that you then take in your own hands.

Feel this for a moment:
“It’s not my fault”;
“I didn’t ask for this”;
“There is nothing I can do”;

Can you see how powerless this comes across? I bet you can almost hear it being sad in a whining voice.

Now check this:
“I don’t like what happened, but what could it be good for?”
“What is the beauty/positive/learning in this?”
“How can I turn this around anyway?”

How does that feel?

Instead of reacting with a “Why me?”, how about taking on the challenge with a confident
“Bring it on – it’s me because I have the resources I need to deal with it!” Wouldn’t you agree that this is so much more powerful!

How could you change your life today if you would choose to see responsibility as a source of power?
How much more authentic could you live if you would accept that you have all the resources you need within you?
How relaxed would you be if you knew that responsibility is a gateway to peace, freedom and happiness?
What would it mean to you to know that you have everything you need to take your life in your own hands?

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs. – Joan Didion

To find out where you have not yet fully taken responsibility for your life, send an e-mail to info[at]transitionguidance.com or call 07 4774 8146 today and ask for our free “Who’s Driving Your Bus?” assessment.

The power to take your life in your own hands can be yours. If you choose to accept the responsibility for it.

It was perfect timing.

Yesterday a friend of mine send me an e-mail, reminding me about choice. We are choosing everything that comes into our life – consciously or unconsciously. We choose our reactions, we choose our thoughts, we choose our job, our partner, friends, associates and we choose our emotions.

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Any choice is our own responsibility. We CAN choose the meaning we give or how we want to react to the things that happen, how we want to feel or respond. So the question is, what do we choose?

As I said, this email was a great reminder and came at the perfect time.

Two days ago I have ‘lost a baby’. Well, it was not yet a baby, merely a foetus, as I was only in the early stages of pregnancy and there had not been much bonding yet. Still it felt like a big loss to me – then.

Being in physical pain, I was looking for distraction. First I cancelled all appointments to allow time for my body to heal. Then I made a few phone calls to share the ‘sad news’ with my close friends. After some logistic arrangements were sorted to pick up my son from school, there was nothing left to consider but me and my thoughts.

The lady at the reception had suggested to get home and watch all the movies that I hadn’t had time to watch for a while. Even though I liked the idea, it was hard to choose which one would be appropriate, even more with a limited DVD library like ours. (I even felt almost ‘guilty’ for sitting and watching while my husband was working)

So I went through some of my usual favourites that I can normally watch at any time:

The Birdcage – too funny. Legends Of The Fall – too sad.
Forrest Gump – too innocent. Don Juan de Marco – too sexy.
A Disney, Pixar or Dreamworks movie – after the 1000th time: too boring. X-Men, Spiderman, Batman – too exciting.
Lord of the Rings – too gloomy and melancholic (would there be time for the whole trilogy anyway??). Dirty Dancing – too shallow (and with an intentional abortion too inappropriate!).
Chocolat – wonderful, but just not right.

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button – Just right! And just recently arrived from Germany, it was great to watch it in my mother language and get some of the little distinctions that got lost in translation at the movies.

Still – the inevitable thoughts and questions can be postponed, but they come back to bite when the distraction is gone. So I chose to surrender.

I went through the thoughts that came up:

In relation to BODY:

Am I too old? Couldn’t I give enough nutrients? Am I not fit enough? Are my eggs too weak? Would the child have been disabled?

In relation to MIND:

Did I worry too much? Did I focus on the negative things that could happen? Was it a girl who didn’t want to stay because I wished for another boy? What if….?

In relation to SPIRIT:

Did this little soul not feel welcome? Was it there to tell me something and what could that be?

There are countless possible answers to these questions, all of which could be right as much as they could be wrong.

So it was on me to make a choice:

Will I give in to grief and blame or will I accept the gifts of the event?

Looking back I decided that I have had enough attention and self-pity to  please the ego and that is was time to move forward.

So I choose to believe that this little soul wanted to give me the opportunity to revise my life, especially in terms of my family and my business.
There are a lot of decisions to be made in relation to both that I procrastinated (yes, I do this too!) to address, to act on or to consider.

I chose to believe that it is the chance for me to increase my fitness, to actually start the journey of transforming my body to how I want it to be and to become healthier overall.

I chose to believe that I I have not lost a baby, but finally found the ‘trusted source’ I have been looking for to talk to and that ‘Anna’ (how I wish to call the little soul) has come into my life to let me know that she is there to help me find some answers and define my purpose even clearer.

I chose to believe that this was a blessing and I chose to be grateful for the experience.

In life we don’t get what we want, we get what we expect.

(original source unknown, quoted by Chris Howard)

I was hoping for a sign and I got it in an unexpected way, but it reminded me that we can expect answers if we dare to ask and if we are willing to take responsibility for our choices. This is why I consciously choose to raise my standards and get very clear about my expectations from this life.

My message to you today is simple: don’t wait for a defining moment to remind you that you have all it takes to take your life in your hands.

Why am I sharing such a personal experience?

My hope is that by sharing this I can maybe help to raise the awareness that we always have a choice – at least how we choose to respond to what is happening to or around us. If that makes only one person question their current perception that “there is nothing I can do” and that helps to realise that we are much more powerful than we think we are, it maybe makes his or her day.

If that person than realises that it is time to step up and move out of the publicly so well accepted victim mentality that keeps your personal energy on a low level, it will make my day.

If this person than becomes who he or she really is, who knows whose day this will make?

We are role models for someone – how not to do it or how to do it. Will you live with your light dimmed or will you shine?

Your turn

Make a conscious choice today to design your own destiny. You are the master of your life. Skip the yeah-buts, the what-ifs and the couldna, shouldna, wouldna…

To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there. – Kofi Annan

If the ‘WHY’ is big enough, the ‘HOW’ will take care of itself.

Transition Guidance is here to help you find, refine or re-define your why and to align it with your values (what you stand for), so that everything you do will move you towards this purpose (who you are) and achieving your goals (where you want to go).

To find out where you have made the (conscious or unconscious) choice to give your personal power away and how to make your own choices, apply for a free “Who’s Driving Your Bus”-assessment via phone (07 4774 8146 or 0439 265 230) or e-mail (info[at]transitionguidance.com) today.

Please share your thoughts, any insights or similar stories below. Your input is much appreciated.

This is one of my favourite topics!

That does not necessarily mean that I have mastered the art of de-cluttering -  au contraire mon ami! But it is a very powerful strategy to get major results with minor effort.

Clutter is as dangerous for the body as it is for the mind and the spirit.

So-called ‘messies’ have their disability to think in structured and organised ways reflected in their compulsion to hord things, which gives them a sensation of safety and worthiness. They have a very strong need to collect anything to an extend that goes way beyond ‘normal household amounts’- tins, cans, newspapers, clothes, pegs, cords and strings, pens and papers, toys, batteries, …  It takes a lot of patience and ‘digging deep’ to help those people raise their self-esteem and worthiness to live a ‘normal life’ independently from those ‘accessories’.

The word clutter is used here for anything that can be categorised as being an unnecessary add-on or something that goes beyond a healthy amount in presence.

Examples and Consequences of  BODY-Clutter

• toxins from nutrition or the environment – block cells and flow of energy, causes skin problems
• high insulin level -thickens the blood and damages arteries and body tissue
• increased cholesterol level – causes blockages in arteries and slows down blood flow
• increased adrenalin production – disables the production of serotonin, our happiness hormone
• higher acid than alkaline levels – results in indigestion (burping, bloating, heavy feeling after eating, flatulence)
• and of course an over-intake of fat that is stored in the body and leads to being overweight or even obesity.

De-cluttering your BODY

Examples of cleaning processes for the body are:

• fasting
• detoxing
• sweating (sauna or steam bath)
• a relaxation or specialised massage (Shiatsu, Indian Head Massage, Nuad Thai or a Thai Herbal massage)
• change of diet
• change of lifestyle

Daily Life Experience

Studies have shown that a person who has a lot of clutter in his or her home will find it very hard to lose weight (and most of them are overweight!). I can personally second that.

Every time I decide it’s time to de-clutter a pantry or the garage, I observe that my body wants to join in and that any usual cravings for sweets magically turn into a desire for ‘healthy food’.

Examples and Consequences of  MIND-Clutter

• other people’s beliefs – can override your self-esteem
• too many ‘shoulds’ – leave no or only little room for wants
• overestimating how much can be done in a certain amount of time – feelings of overwhelm (leading to spirit-clutter)
• beliefs that do not serve, support or nurture your purpose or goals – distract you from  living your potential
• unfinished ideas, projects, plans, life goals – feelings of frustration and failure (spirit-clutter that can lead to overeating and as a result to body-clutter)

De-cluttering your MIND

Examples for cleaning processes for the mind are:

• letting go of other people’s beliefs
• learning to say “No”
• choosing to focus on the good things that have happened or may be happening during the day
• expressing your passion in a creative way (through paintings, music, dance or any other kind of art)
• examining and balancing your personal energy centres (chakras)

Daily Life Experience

Every time, as soon as I start the process of sorting, throwing or giving away, my mind goes crazy with ideas for products, projects or services I could offer to improve people’s lives.

I have exercise books full of book titles, workshop topics, product ideas that would complement any health and wellbeing strategy and I am looking forward to sharing them with you one at a time.

Examples and Consequences of  SPIRIT-Clutter

• pent-up anger – aggression, unreasonable and irrational behaviour
• unresolved frustration – impatience, overeating
• the use of emotions to get attention – un-resourceful choices of behaviour (self-pity, moodiness,..), giving away responsibility and personal power

De-cluttering your SPIRIT

• re-aligning with your values
• studying and practising emotional intelligence
• exploring and resolving issues and events in the past that may have caused a ripple effect of emotions (and limiting beliefs)

Daily Life Experience

My spirit feels very peaceful after a completed de-clutter-action, as if a load has been taken away that I was not aware of before. Many other people have confirmed the same or very similar experiences.

Coaching has helped me to let go of or learn to deal with  many emotions that are neither serving nor supporting or serving me in my purpose to help people to balance and relax their body, mind and spirit and to spread ‘contagious wellbeing’.

There are many tools and strategies available to help you do the same. Some are easy ‘Do-It-Yourself’ tactics, which I will share here and in my book, some require assistance or guidance, which I am happy to provide through my programs, treatments and services.

Walking the Talk

While I was re-structuring my business, I found it very relieving to start a new website, because the old one was getting very complex and unclear. I can see the same pattern happening with this one as I am redefining the purpose and intention of myself, my work and the way I try to reach my audience.

This website will therefore undergo a renovation process to which I am looking forward to. I invite you to leave any suggestions of how I can increase the usability of these pages and welcome any feedback  on what is missing, what is too much, what is confusing, misleading, distracting or in any other way an overload of information.

Please also feel free to share what you like and what you would miss if it would be gone as well as any ideas what can be improved or enquiries what you would love to read about in regards to balance and relaxation for body, mind and spirit. Your input is very valuable and much appreciated and I thank you in advance.

Are you feeling …

…stressed or overwhelmed?
…stuck or out of alignment?
…burned out or of low energy?

Are you concerned about…

…your ability to perform to your usual personal or professional standard?
…your lack of concentration, memory or learning difficulties?
…social isolation, an urge to withdraw from social activities or communicational challenges?
…unexplainable moodiness, depression, constant fatigue, allergic reactions or rashes, eczema or itches?
…reduced libido, temper or frustration, feelings of loneliness or not being worthy?
…hallucination, sleeplessness or nightmares?

If you recognise some of the above symptoms in your life, here are the good news:

Your body, mind and spirit are giving you signals that either or all of them are out of balance and need some time (and maybe support) to even themselves out.  In order to do that it is important to have a rest, listen to your self talk, observe your emotions and look at the signals of your body. That way the relevant part can do its work, respectively all three work together symbiotically.

The real reason for an imbalance of body, mind and spirit always comes back to one of three causes:

• physical stress (tensions and blockages in your body)
• mental stress (draining thoughts and limiting beliefs that seem to run around in circles, drag you down and make you feel powerless, weak or tired)
• spiritual/emotional stress (when you seem to be controlled by your emotions rather than being in control of them, when there is a conflict in your values or a lack of purpose)

Often a stress in one area is the reason for tension or blockages in another, because they are interconnected and feed from each other.

This is why Transition Guidance looks at the whole person and offers a holistic approach to reducing stress, improving your overall wellbeing and supporting relaxation for the body, the mind and the spirit.

What we do:

We balance and relax

body, mind and spirit.

We guide

through transition by choice or necessity.

We empower

to live an authentic life with purpose

We connect

you with your inner resources

and with like-minded people

You will be able to access resources that you did not even dare to believe are within you.

There is one catch though:
When you come back you must be prepared to feel like an alien from another world. If you are really serious about changing your life to the better and make a commitment to participate at a level of 110%, you will never be able to go back to your old habits of thinking and behaving.

This can be irritating for the ones around you who have not made that change – yet.

So my recommendation is to tell your family and closest friends and simply take them with you – because you will come back as another person:  the person you always wanted to become!

Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal. – Earl Nightingale

A definition by Earl Nightingale

(Excerpt from “The Strangest Secret“):

…The only person who succeeds is the person who is progressively realising a worthy ideal. It’s the person who says “I’m going to become this” and then begins to work toward that goal. I tell you who successful people are:

A success is the school teacher, because that’s what he or she wants to do.
A success is a woman who’s a wife and mother, because she wanted to become a wife and mother and is doing a good job of it.
A success is the man who runs the corner gas station because that was his dream, that’s what he wanted to do.
A success is the successful salesman who wants to become a top notch salesman and grow and build up this organisation.

A success is anyone who is doing deliberately a predetermined job, because that’s what he decided to do deliberately.

Your turn:

What does success mean to you?
How do you know that you are successful?
How do you measure your success/what are your KPI (Key Performance Indicators)?