The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?” The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns.

They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds.

They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children.

Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.

And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! ”
———–

Can you imagine how much stress it would take out of a person’s life to be happy with what is, to adopt an attitude like the lady in the story?

People may think that this is just an excuse or a justification to be overweight, but it’s not.

It is a very brave statement to accept oneself  ‘as is’ and to make a CHOICE whether we want to change something about it or not. And if we want to change it, then it is because we choose to do so from our own motivation, not because someone else or the media dictates what’s right or wrong, what’s good or bad, what’s in or out.

This is authentic living at its best: making your own choices and being content with who you are.

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn) Story shared on facebook by Delphine Fieberg

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

“When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realise true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.”

Then he told the following story:

“Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.
Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’
I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.

The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’ Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’ Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball.

The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’ . Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’ Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

‘That day”, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!”

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through e-mails or post them on social media without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you’re thinking about whether to share this message or not, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people in your circle who aren’t the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message.

Well, the person who published this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realise the ‘natural order of things.’

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process? A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.

Sharing this (or similar) stories means increasing hope, acknowledging courage and humanity and most importantly change the focus from bloodthirsty  sensationalism to spreading meaningful messages.

The more people are encouraged and motivated to do and share random acts of kindness, the more goodness will be created in the world, which then again promotes more positive actions, and inspires an upward spiral of sympathy, empathy and compassion.

Ignorance or inspiration – which one do you choose?

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.

I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger, fear, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked: “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”

The old Cherokee simply replied:” The one you feed.”

How often have you heard it or even thought or said it yourself today?

We may use other words, but the statement is the same. We experience a lot of stress from the moment we get out of bed until we – often exhausted – fall back into it and even beyond.

Constant stress is one of the most serious causes for un-resourceful behaviour that initiates even more stress.

But is stress really our enemy?

In fact, stress is a very important factor when it comes to survival, because it helps the body to prepare for fight or flight.

The purpose of stress is to enable us to react to a stressor (stress factor), allowing us to quickly adapt to changing circumstances.

Stress also supports our development, because every effort and solution requires a certain amount of stress energy. It brings out the best in us. Top performances wouldn’t be possible without it, as they require a controlled amount of stress.

Like with many things it is the ‘too much’ that is harmful for body, mind and soul. Stress can only be useful, when it is controlled, managed, and dealt with resourcefully.

But how do we do that?

There are three starting points for stress management:

1. Stressors – changing your environment

Knowing what stresses you is a good place to start with. Once you know that, you can then work on ways to either eliminate, reduce or even avoid your stress factors.

For example you could

• turn off the phone or radio during a break, meeting or when you want to have some ‘me-time’ (eliminate)
• turn down the volume of phone, radio or other devices or shut the door to reduce noise when you need to work concentrated (reduce)or
• take another route to work, start earlier or later or even switch your way of transportation completely to public transport if you want to avoid the rush hour or road rage

2. ‘Self-Management’ – managing your stress response

Managing your stress response means learning how to create long-term health and wellbeing strategies and a resourceful attitude to

• cultivate or increase resistance (through active relaxation
• develop skills for an optimistic, positive mindset
• change the perception of the situation

3. ‘Agitation management’ – finding ways for an immediate response adjustment

In an acute stress situation it is useful to be able to refer back to more resourceful short-term techniques to influence your immediate response in order to avoid agitation peaks or the build-up of (negative) spiralling effects.

Short term health and wellbeing strategy options to reduce, cope with or prevent stress include

• Spontaneous relaxation
• Perception channelling
• Positive self-talk
• Venting -release from immediate pressure

Great natural and non-invasive alternatives to drugs, alcohol, medication, smoking or other health compromising choices are systematic muscle relaxation, autogenic training or breathing techniques, asking yourself power-questions or learning how to use self-suggestions or affirmations effectively.

In the long run, prevention is better than cure and dealing with the effects of stress is essential. Stress is always individual and usually home made, which means it is a learned behaviour or results from impractical habits.

The good thing is that every learned behaviour or behavioural pattern can also be unlearned, replaced or changed.

Stress can impact your body, mind and spirit on four levels:

1. Cognitive level – all mental processes – thoughts and senses
2. Emotional level – all feelings and sensitivities
3. Vegetal-hormonal level – all reactions of the autonomous nervous system and the connected organ processes that are normally not consciously controlled, like hormones
4. Muscular level – reactions of the muscular skeleton system, those that can be controlled consciously

This means that different stressors require different stress responses. How you experience stress mainly will give you a good indicator how to best deal with it.

For long-term health and wellbeing you may want to consider a strategy that involves relaxation (regular massages, meditation in motion…) or intentional exercises to calm the mind and strengthen the body, creating a supportive network or attending personal development workshops or seminars that teach self-management and life leadership skills.

Chi is the Chinese term for vital energy or life energy, also called Ki in Japanese, Sen in Thai or Prana in Ayurvedic (Indian) tradition.

The belief in those and other cultures is that Chi/Ki/Sen/Prana… runs through energy lines in the body that are not visible, but which can be sensed by trained practitioners and even the aware individual.

People who experience a lot of stress, grief, anger, frustration or other strong emotions without finding a balancing counterpart or learning a resourceful way to deal with these emotions, over time develop blockages in their energy lines which are called meridians (Chinese and Japanese), Sen lines (Thai) or Nadis (Ayurveda).

Those blockages are experienced as tensions and are often the first symptoms that something is not quite as it should be. If no attention is given to those signals, the body uses a more intense language to express the need for Chi, which can’t pass the blockages in the energy line. This is when dis-comfort starts to turn into dis-ease, which will become serious or chronic illnesses if only the symptom, but not the real cause is treated.

A blockage in an energy line causes the Chi flow to slow down or even to stagnate. As a result you feel tired, exhausted, weary… Your body starts to go in recovery mode, winds down to safe energy or to get in a state where it thinks it can regain some vigour. It is your body´s way to say it needs time to repair itself.

The stronger the flow of Chi, the quicker is your recovery time and the easier it is for your body to initiate whichever healing process is necessary, which means it is a vital prerequisite to provide your system with high quality and quantity Chi.

There are a few simple ways to do that:

1.      Breathe – Breathing deeply into your belly helps to take in lots of oxygen and Chi, provided it is fresh air. Avoid closed, all day air conditioned rooms, search for a place close to a tree, garden or natural water.

2.      Eat – Nutritious food like organic fruit and vegetables are great carriers of Chi. It may not be suitable for everyone to eat vegetables raw, but if your constitution allows, go for it.

3.      Drink – Choose pH neutral, if possible mineral rich water and drink it at room temperature. Ice cold or very chilled drinks make it hard for the spleen to bring intakes to a temperature where their nutritional components can be split and sent to the relevant systems and a lot of the value gets lost.

4.      Exercise gentle and thoughtful moves – While Qi Gong is referred to as the art of generating Chi, Tai Chi is the modality that helps to manage it. Yoga focuses on breathing, heating the body and keeping or ideally increasing its flexibility. Pilates exercises strengthen and stabilise the core, movements based on the Feldenkrais method may release memories that are stored in body tissue and increases body awareness.

5.      Relax – Meditation and deep relaxation quieten and bring focus to your mind and spirit.

The ChiBall Method™ is a body-mind exercise program that is build on the above principles and also considers Yin and Yang, the Five Elements and seasons known from TCM – traditional Chinese medicine.

A ChiBall™ is a ball the size of a honey melon, available in six different colours, each with a specific fragrance, utilising the therapeutical powers of aromas and colours while performing a choreographed routine to specifically composed music.

A typical ChiBall™ class is gently balancing, energising, activating Chi and relaxing and can be adapted to suit older adults, children, high achievers, mums-to-be,  athletes or mixed classes. To learn more about The ChiBall Method ™ go to the website www.chiball.com or www.chiyujveda.com

Find classes in Townsville

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. – John F. Kennedy

How is Gratitude related to the relief, management or prevention of stress?

It has been a big challenge for me to be grateful when I was younger and when things happened that either made no sense at that time, that confused me or that I did not like/want to be an experience in my life.

When I was challenged I tended to get upset either with myself, others or the situation. Blame was my good friend.

As you can imagine neither of this was very effective in terms of moving on. The worst experience was when I found out that my (then) husband had an affair with my best friend. That moment I felt like drawn into a black hole, spiraling downwards.

I went through the whole spectrum of negative emotions: anger, sadness, frustration, self-pity, fear, grief, aggression and once through started all over again. Only a few friends who really cared about me dared to be physically and mentally close when the ‘fire horse’ in me came out and the volcano was braking loose.

Today I have the deepest respect for these friends – I really wasn’t a pleasure to be around.

Fast forward 10 years. A few months ago I reconnected with ‘the adulteress’. To be honest, I was very surprised myself when I felt the need to get in contact with her. Even more as she tried to apologise for what happened (back then) and there was no way I would have even listened.

It feels really odd now to use the word adulteress, because this is not how I see her any more. Today I can see the pain that she went through herself. I no longer feel any kind of stress calling her name, while before I almost felt physical pain when I even only thought of her.

Besides time of course, there is one virtue that helped me to see this event differently now:

Gratitude

By practicing Nuad Thai – Traditional Thai Massage and studying its roots in Buddhist tradition as well as becoming a life coach I learned to take responsibility for my actions and my non-actions.

Instead of blaming others, I rather look for the gift in the situation and ask myself better questions:

What can I learn to avoid/do better next time?
How does this help me to grow?
How can I use this to become a better person?

By establishing some resources like a trusted source, a coach I can share insights with, journaling and meditation it is now easy and almost effortless to tap onto the power of Gratitude.

A heartfelt Thank-You to whoever you pray to invites harmony and instant relief to your life. The answer is often a knowing deep inside, that once you have accepted the gift of the situation as an opportunity for learning and growth, it will no longer cause any physical or mental stress.

How to practice Gratitude

Practicing Gratitude is very easy. To start with, ask yourself a simple question:

What happened today that you could choose to be grateful for?

Maybe you got a smile from a stranger, someone picked up your bag when it fell down, you got a nice call from a friend…

Even the simplest things can be a great source to experience Gratitude: the song of a bird, the beauty of a tree, the blue of the sky, a raindrop on a leaf…

Once you get in the habit of practicing Gratitude for the small things, you will find it easier to see the hidden presents in a situation that is more challenging.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. – Albert Schweitzer

Every person has a story and we are all connected.

The story of ‘The Little Soul And The Sun‘ by Neale Donald Walsh gives an insight of how each of us is a shining light and why sometimes the ones that bring us the biggest pain are those we need to show our deepest appreciation. (A review and summary will be available soon).

The Gift Of Gratitude

By practicing Gratitude you will connect with your higher spirit. This is one of the most powerful resources to increase the balance of your body, mind & spirit and will help you to stay much more relaxed when the road of life gets a bit bumpy and challenging.

I would like to share my gratitude for the organiser of the eco fiesta and lifestyle expo, who put together a wonderful event that enabled me to connect with new prospective and re-connect with existing friends.

My deepest appreciation goes to my husband Thomas and my youngest son Noah, who support me unconditionally in everything that I do and who enrich my life beyond words.

Each of my older children, Aaron, David and Lukas, gave my life a twist which was extremely valuable and I am grateful for their strong personalities and enriching characters.

To all my existing clients: your appreciation for my work makes my days. You are all precious to me and I cherish our relationship no matter how often or seldom we see each other.

Without the people who read this, I would just be talking to myself, so my Gratitude includes you as well.

And before this starts to sound like the acknowledgements in the foreword of a book, I stop here – curious to hear what you are grateful for today, tomorrow and the day after. Please share your thoughts and insights below. Thank you.

In fact, responsibility is one of the key indicators to living authentically and taking your life in your own hands.

Responsibility is the thing people dread most of all. Yet it is the one thing in the world that develops us, gives us manhood or womanhood fiber. – Frank Crane

What Responsibility is not

Even though responsibility may appear to be an opportunity to load blame on someone else’s shoulder, this is not what it is about. This perception comes from misunderstanding the concept of responsibility.

When I was working in my first job as a sales representative in a (then) big company that produced, sold and maintained sewing machines, I was the PA to the Head of Department for Overseas Sales. He had a weird concept of responsibility:

Everything had to be reported to and endorsed by him, yet when something went wrong it was always us – the ones who were in “the lower hierachie” – who had to face the music.

While every day he gave us a lecture about how generously he gave us responsibility and freedom of choice how to get to a certain result, in fact there was only one way things had to be done: his.

If you are familiar with the term “This is how we do things, because they have always been done that way!”, you may be able to comprehend how not only frustrating, but also confusing it felt to get these contradictory messages.

Assigning responsibility to someone is not meant to be an excuse for having someone to blame in case something ‘goes wrong’ or does not work out as planned.
Neither is it meant to be a punishment as in “you asked for it, now deal with it”.

What is Responsibility?

Responsibility is a gift.

It is an opportunity to deal with an unexpected situation and find a satisfying solution, to make a choice how we want to respond to an event.

Things happen that we can’t control or influence, but what we can choose is our response to what is happening. Our response is always a choice.

Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them. – Tom Stoppard

Here is an interesting equation:

Responsibility = Choice; Choice = Power;  that means:

Responsibility = Power, right? Right!

The Power is yours

The moment you choose to take on responsibility for your actions and for your non-actions is the beginning of a new life, a life that you then take in your own hands.

Feel this for a moment:
“It’s not my fault”;
“I didn’t ask for this”;
“There is nothing I can do”;

Can you see how powerless this comes across? I bet you can almost hear it being sad in a whining voice.

Now check this:
“I don’t like what happened, but what could it be good for?”
“What is the beauty/positive/learning in this?”
“How can I turn this around anyway?”

How does that feel?

Instead of reacting with a “Why me?”, how about taking on the challenge with a confident
“Bring it on – it’s me because I have the resources I need to deal with it!” Wouldn’t you agree that this is so much more powerful!

How could you change your life today if you would choose to see responsibility as a source of power?
How much more authentic could you live if you would accept that you have all the resources you need within you?
How relaxed would you be if you knew that responsibility is a gateway to peace, freedom and happiness?
What would it mean to you to know that you have everything you need to take your life in your own hands?

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs. – Joan Didion

To find out where you have not yet fully taken responsibility for your life, send an e-mail to info[at]transitionguidance.com or call 07 4774 8146 today and ask for our free “Who’s Driving Your Bus?” assessment.

The power to take your life in your own hands can be yours. If you choose to accept the responsibility for it.

This is one of my favourite topics!

That does not necessarily mean that I have mastered the art of de-cluttering -  au contraire mon ami! But it is a very powerful strategy to get major results with minor effort.

Clutter is as dangerous for the body as it is for the mind and the spirit.

So-called ‘messies’ have their disability to think in structured and organised ways reflected in their compulsion to hord things, which gives them a sensation of safety and worthiness. They have a very strong need to collect anything to an extend that goes way beyond ‘normal household amounts’- tins, cans, newspapers, clothes, pegs, cords and strings, pens and papers, toys, batteries, …  It takes a lot of patience and ‘digging deep’ to help those people raise their self-esteem and worthiness to live a ‘normal life’ independently from those ‘accessories’.

The word clutter is used here for anything that can be categorised as being an unnecessary add-on or something that goes beyond a healthy amount in presence.

Examples and Consequences of  BODY-Clutter

• toxins from nutrition or the environment – block cells and flow of energy, causes skin problems
• high insulin level -thickens the blood and damages arteries and body tissue
• increased cholesterol level – causes blockages in arteries and slows down blood flow
• increased adrenalin production – disables the production of serotonin, our happiness hormone
• higher acid than alkaline levels – results in indigestion (burping, bloating, heavy feeling after eating, flatulence)
• and of course an over-intake of fat that is stored in the body and leads to being overweight or even obesity.

De-cluttering your BODY

Examples of cleaning processes for the body are:

• fasting
• detoxing
• sweating (sauna or steam bath)
• a relaxation or specialised massage (Shiatsu, Indian Head Massage, Nuad Thai or a Thai Herbal massage)
• change of diet
• change of lifestyle

Daily Life Experience

Studies have shown that a person who has a lot of clutter in his or her home will find it very hard to lose weight (and most of them are overweight!). I can personally second that.

Every time I decide it’s time to de-clutter a pantry or the garage, I observe that my body wants to join in and that any usual cravings for sweets magically turn into a desire for ‘healthy food’.

Examples and Consequences of  MIND-Clutter

• other people’s beliefs – can override your self-esteem
• too many ‘shoulds’ – leave no or only little room for wants
• overestimating how much can be done in a certain amount of time – feelings of overwhelm (leading to spirit-clutter)
• beliefs that do not serve, support or nurture your purpose or goals – distract you from  living your potential
• unfinished ideas, projects, plans, life goals – feelings of frustration and failure (spirit-clutter that can lead to overeating and as a result to body-clutter)

De-cluttering your MIND

Examples for cleaning processes for the mind are:

• letting go of other people’s beliefs
• learning to say “No”
• choosing to focus on the good things that have happened or may be happening during the day
• expressing your passion in a creative way (through paintings, music, dance or any other kind of art)
• examining and balancing your personal energy centres (chakras)

Daily Life Experience

Every time, as soon as I start the process of sorting, throwing or giving away, my mind goes crazy with ideas for products, projects or services I could offer to improve people’s lives.

I have exercise books full of book titles, workshop topics, product ideas that would complement any health and wellbeing strategy and I am looking forward to sharing them with you one at a time.

Examples and Consequences of  SPIRIT-Clutter

• pent-up anger – aggression, unreasonable and irrational behaviour
• unresolved frustration – impatience, overeating
• the use of emotions to get attention – un-resourceful choices of behaviour (self-pity, moodiness,..), giving away responsibility and personal power

De-cluttering your SPIRIT

• re-aligning with your values
• studying and practising emotional intelligence
• exploring and resolving issues and events in the past that may have caused a ripple effect of emotions (and limiting beliefs)

Daily Life Experience

My spirit feels very peaceful after a completed de-clutter-action, as if a load has been taken away that I was not aware of before. Many other people have confirmed the same or very similar experiences.

Coaching has helped me to let go of or learn to deal with  many emotions that are neither serving nor supporting or serving me in my purpose to help people to balance and relax their body, mind and spirit and to spread ‘contagious wellbeing’.

There are many tools and strategies available to help you do the same. Some are easy ‘Do-It-Yourself’ tactics, which I will share here and in my book, some require assistance or guidance, which I am happy to provide through my programs, treatments and services.

Walking the Talk

While I was re-structuring my business, I found it very relieving to start a new website, because the old one was getting very complex and unclear. I can see the same pattern happening with this one as I am redefining the purpose and intention of myself, my work and the way I try to reach my audience.

This website will therefore undergo a renovation process to which I am looking forward to. I invite you to leave any suggestions of how I can increase the usability of these pages and welcome any feedback  on what is missing, what is too much, what is confusing, misleading, distracting or in any other way an overload of information.

Please also feel free to share what you like and what you would miss if it would be gone as well as any ideas what can be improved or enquiries what you would love to read about in regards to balance and relaxation for body, mind and spirit. Your input is very valuable and much appreciated and I thank you in advance.

The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice – it’s conformity!

Nightingale then goes on to explain:

And there you have the trouble today. It’s conformity! People like being like everyone else, without knowing why, without knowing where they’re going.

Over the years I have discovered that this is a phenomenon that can cause a lot of stress. How do I know? I experienced it first hand, because I refused to conform.

When (almost) all the girls in my class were ´Poppers´, I was a ´Rocker´.
When girls were expected to wear skirts and pumps , I was wearing my jeans and ´adidas three stripes´.
When my peers studied, got married and had children, I got married, had children and then started to study.

After all the discussions I had with my parents, shaking heads from the rest of my family and lack of comprehension from my peers and colleagues for being so different, I can testify that being expected to conform has caused a lot of stress in my life.

But I had a lot of fun, I enjoyed life and I took every opportunity to be free to be me.

Except for one occasion:

There have been different careers that I was intrigued to pursue, but one was most outstanding: to become a carpenter (specifically: furniture designer). But when it came to making the decision to make a dream a reality, I chose to listen to advice from people who told me why I should not go that path (too hard for a woman, not profitable, no future for that, not the right thing for me…) and I learned to become a sales representative instead.

Now the only reason why I even had a chance to get one of the rare, sought after and popular apprenticeships was because I had ´connections´ – indispensable for a corporate career if you were not extremely talented . So I did my trainings, on site and at school and passed the necessary tests to get a title and to be accepted at the Chamber of Industry and Commerce.

The problem was, I wasn´t happy. Not at all. Being an Industrial Sales Representative was so far away from who I was, that it was only a matter of time when the problems would start.

To make a long story short, my first son gave me the opportunity to be physically away from the company and doing a job that was neither challenging nor fulfilling me – it simply almost ´bored me to death.´

Though today I am not a carpenter either, the work I currently do is who I am. It is fulfilling me, rewarding me, making me happy and it is what I call my temporary purpose.

Living an authentic life has helped me to make a difference in people´s lives that I never would have been able to make in my first job. What I do now is not a job. It is not even a profession. It is a calling.

The first moment I realised this was one I cherish like gold, because it had a profound impact on my body, my soul and my spirit.

Since then, I had the opportunity to notice the same or very similar effects on other people´s body, mind and spirit too.

Here is what I observed:

Impact on the BODY:

People who are not living authentically with their true self

• feel like there is a heavy burden on their shoulders
• have a low immune system
• often develop eating disorders and weight problems
• have low energy levels
• often create chronic illnesses

Impact on the MIND:

People who are not living authentically with their true self

• are often nervous
• get easily stressed and overwhelmed
• are inclined to excessively beat themselves up over trivialities
• find it hard to build relationships with colleagues
• experience their work as hard

Impact on the SPIRIT:

People who are not living authentically with their true self

• easily give in to feelings of anger, frustration, sadness or fear
• feel unfulfilled and out of alignment
• get easily bored with/in their jobs
• have the feeling that there is something important missing in their life
• seem to be (and often are) unsettled

Living authentically means doing what you love and loving what you do for a living. Living an authentic life also means being true to yourself, to who you really are.

Authenticity means being free to be you, free from the need to conform, free from listening to others who want to create a life for you that you do not want to live.

Authenticity means taking a lot of distress away, which is the kind of stress that causes the above mentioned problems for body, mind and spirit.

Living an authentic life means being fulfilled with what you do, living in a healthy body, with a peaceful mind and  a happy spirit and I´d love to invite you to the adventure of experiencing the real you.

Components of authentic living

Courage

To act in spite of doubt

Integrity

To be true to yourself first, then to others

Perseverance

To keep going when the going gets tough

Focus

To know where you want to go or what you want to achieve

Structure

To find your way back when you have to go a detour

Support

To have a shoulder to lean on and guidance along the way

The moral of the story: it’s never too late to start living on purpose and with authenticity. It doesn’t matter WHEN you start, only IF you do.

What are you doing on a consistent basis that is not really you? That you have been influenced to do from others who thought it would be good for you?

Where have you sacrificed your true self or parts thereof  for a job or a relationship that gave you security because it was easier, you felt you had no other choice or pursuing your dream seemed not to be appropriate at that time? Is that still true today?

What could you do to bring some flavour back into your own life? What was is that you always wanted to do? How can you incorporate it in your current life?

If you have difficulty creating a meaningful environment, Transition Guidance has custom designed programs to help you learn to live authentically and with purpose. Call +617 4774 8146 or write to info[at]transitionguidance.com to find out how you too can live the life you were meant to live and make the difference you are born to make.

Often these feelings are feeding from each other, creating a downward spiral that leaves us with bitterness, as ‘victims’ and in an un-resourceful , very stressful  and often painful state.

From here, physical or mental violence, anxiety or depression can be only one step away.

When dealing with painful and stress promoting emotions, the only way to respond is with emotions  that get you in balance –  physically, mentally and spiritually. For the above feelings, one of the best and most resourceful responses is forgiveness.

The effects of forgiveness on your body

• reduces the stress and the adrenalin level (which initiates our fight or flight modus)
• lowers blood pressure (which cools down excitement)
• slows down the heart beat (which reduces the risk of heart attacks)
• decreases the risk of gall and kidney stones (which often develop through continuous  living on a high stress level)

The effects of forgiveness on your mind

• allows you to connect with your inner resources (instead of using external stimulants like sugar, alcohol or drugs)
• helps you to relate to your own power and strength (instead of giving it away)

The effects of forgiveness on your spirit

• creates a positive chain reaction of supporting emotions like understanding, compassion, connection
• enables you to feel peaceful

How do you get to a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness isn’t something that automatically comes to you, but it is a state that you can reach easily, if you commit to the process of change.

An important presupposition is to recognise and accept the value of forgiveness and how it can change your life for the better.

Forgiving is an active choice to do so. This doesn’t mean that we excuse or give permission to repeat or continue the hurting person’s behaviour. By you forgiving, it doesn’t make the hurtful action better, right or acceptable.

But it does mean that you are no longer willing to accept the state of being a victim and that you have chosen that you won’t give away your personal power, integrity and worthiness.

Actions of your body:

Take a deep breath. Sounds simple and it is. When you focus on your breath, you give your body the opportunity for a short break. A deep breathe in provides the body, especially the brain, with much needed oxygen to work more effectively and find a better solution.

It also erects the body, which in return sends signals of confidence to the brain. If you can manage to put on a smile, even better, because that will send ‘happiness hormones’ to your body and helps to release physical tensions. It is ok to fake it; your brain doesn’t know and doesn’t care – the effect is the same.

If you can, walk (physically) away from the situation. A quick walk or a hard workout will help you channel the adrenalin that is released to fight or flight.

Have you got a trampoline? Get on to it and start jumping! Jumping and hopping (maybe on a swiss ball) also release hormones that get you back on the road to feeling better quickly and as a result forgiveness and happiness will come even more easily and effortlessly.

If you feel like punching something, punch your pillow, a punching bag or the couch. Whatever you need to do,  get rid of it and be mindful to let it go in a way that is safe for your body, mind and soul – it will help you to clear the way to forgiveness faster.

Actions of your mind:

Forgiveness is an act of imagination. Instead of seeing or visualising yourself getting angry, acting out or even getting physical, you can quickly imagine how you walk away from the situation, do something that soothes your soul or imagine yourself calming down.

Actions of your soul:

Forgiveness does not mean to suppress your feelings. Let them out. If you feel like screaming, get in the car, the toilet or somewhere else where you are by yourself and scream, stump your feet, get some relief. You will get a clear head and you can start to think of a better way to deal with the situation.

Forgiveness is a state of awareness. It is not about denial, but one of conscious choice.

By letting go of grudges, you will find yourself moving away from defining your worthiness by other people’s action. You will be able to draw on powerful resources that make you feel better, in tune with yourself and the universe.

As a result you will feel peaceful and in control of your feelings instead of being controlled by them. You will feel in charge and you are, because it is your own responsibility

The act of Forgiving

Forgiveness can be challenging for the very reason, that often it is not done in one go. Some events need to be forgiven daily before we can heal.

Forgiveness is a divine act that helps us to connect with our spirit, with who we really are. It is one way to experience ourselves and an opportunity to realise that we are spiritual beings who live in a physical body and have human emotions – and choice.