How often have you heard it or even thought or said it yourself today?

We may use other words, but the statement is the same. We experience a lot of stress from the moment we get out of bed until we – often exhausted – fall back into it and even beyond.

Constant stress is one of the most serious causes for un-resourceful behaviour that initiates even more stress.

But is stress really our enemy?

In fact, stress is a very important factor when it comes to survival, because it helps the body to prepare for fight or flight.

The purpose of stress is to enable us to react to a stressor (stress factor), allowing us to quickly adapt to changing circumstances.

Stress also supports our development, because every effort and solution requires a certain amount of stress energy. It brings out the best in us. Top performances wouldn’t be possible without it, as they require a controlled amount of stress.

Like with many things it is the ‘too much’ that is harmful for body, mind and soul. Stress can only be useful, when it is controlled, managed, and dealt with resourcefully.

But how do we do that?

There are three starting points for stress management:

1. Stressors – changing your environment

Knowing what stresses you is a good place to start with. Once you know that, you can then work on ways to either eliminate, reduce or even avoid your stress factors.

For example you could

• turn off the phone or radio during a break, meeting or when you want to have some ‘me-time’ (eliminate)
• turn down the volume of phone, radio or other devices or shut the door to reduce noise when you need to work concentrated (reduce)or
• take another route to work, start earlier or later or even switch your way of transportation completely to public transport if you want to avoid the rush hour or road rage

2. ‘Self-Management’ – managing your stress response

Managing your stress response means learning how to create long-term health and wellbeing strategies and a resourceful attitude to

• cultivate or increase resistance (through active relaxation
• develop skills for an optimistic, positive mindset
• change the perception of the situation

3. ‘Agitation management’ – finding ways for an immediate response adjustment

In an acute stress situation it is useful to be able to refer back to more resourceful short-term techniques to influence your immediate response in order to avoid agitation peaks or the build-up of (negative) spiralling effects.

Short term health and wellbeing strategy options to reduce, cope with or prevent stress include

• Spontaneous relaxation
• Perception channelling
• Positive self-talk
• Venting -release from immediate pressure

Great natural and non-invasive alternatives to drugs, alcohol, medication, smoking or other health compromising choices are systematic muscle relaxation, autogenic training or breathing techniques, asking yourself power-questions or learning how to use self-suggestions or affirmations effectively.

In the long run, prevention is better than cure and dealing with the effects of stress is essential. Stress is always individual and usually home made, which means it is a learned behaviour or results from impractical habits.

The good thing is that every learned behaviour or behavioural pattern can also be unlearned, replaced or changed.

Stress can impact your body, mind and spirit on four levels:

1. Cognitive level – all mental processes – thoughts and senses
2. Emotional level – all feelings and sensitivities
3. Vegetal-hormonal level – all reactions of the autonomous nervous system and the connected organ processes that are normally not consciously controlled, like hormones
4. Muscular level – reactions of the muscular skeleton system, those that can be controlled consciously

This means that different stressors require different stress responses. How you experience stress mainly will give you a good indicator how to best deal with it.

For long-term health and wellbeing you may want to consider a strategy that involves relaxation (regular massages, meditation in motion…) or intentional exercises to calm the mind and strengthen the body, creating a supportive network or attending personal development workshops or seminars that teach self-management and life leadership skills.

Tim Kelley promises 12 Strategies for Discovering the Difference You Are Meant to Make and he delivers.

I could not agree more with Helen Palmer, the author of The Enneagram who says:

“Tim Kelley’s work is of the highest caliber. His insight, precision and skill shine out from a field that is typically hazy. If you are called to explore the realm of purpose, I know of no better guide than Tim.”

What I really like about this work is that Tim starts where many others leave you lost:

He is not only talking about the importance or the impact that finding your purpose can have on your life, he shows you how to do it.

I appreciate that while showing how to discover your trusted source, the author does offer suggestions but leaves it up to the reader where to find it, which means that whether or not you belong to any kind of religion, you will be able to talk to an entity that you can refer to.

Although initially I found it very challenging to read the book chapter wise and work through each one before moving to the next as my coach had instructed, this seems to be the most valuable approach.

The guidance from my coach Shiona Long from Authentic Success, who is an accredited facilitator for Tim Kelley’s purpose work, has been absolutely incredible to make this a book that will always be close to my heart as the one that provides me with invaluable insights about myself, discovering who I truly am and the difference I am here to make.

If discipline is challenging you or you have never had any kind of coaching before, I recommend finding a facilitator to guide you through the book, so that you get the most out of it. However, if you are familiar with conversations (like prayer) to a higher entity (God, angels, Buddha…) or meditation, you will get a lot from this book by working through it yourself too.

A must for anyone who wants to take their life back in their hands, discover what their blessing and mission is and how to make a powerful statement about the difference you are meant to make.

If you are looking for a parenting handbook, look no further. The Family Virtues Guide written by Linda Kavelin Popov offers you a manual that delivers the best foundation possible of how to raise a child in any culture or society.

Her ‘Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves’ contain valuable insights in who our children really are, parenting principles and practices and how to apply The Family Virtues Guide in your family.

A description of 52 ‘Gifts Within’  helps to understand each virtue, why to practice it, how to practice it, how to recognise when a virtue is practised and when it needs more attention as well as an affirmation and a drawing to visualise an example.

It is a book that should be given or at least recommended to each new parent – the earlier the better.

Have a look inside and find out why The Family Virtues Guide is one of those books that have the potential to make the world a better place – one person at a time!

My personal lessons almost always come in three. Yesterday my lesson was about Respect.

First I was reminded how important it is to Respect our body. Visiting a client in a nursing home brought memories back when my Grandmother had a stroke and needed care. Living in the same little village, my mother saw her three times a day to do the daily tasks like washing and feeding her, cleaning the house, giving her comfort and company.

We lived across the road from my Grandma’s place, but having three little children at that time and studying Architecture, I did not always find or take the time to visit her. However, when my mother needed a break, I took over her duties.

Grandma always loved gardening. Before she moved to the village where my Mum lived and I grew up, she had her own house with a garden that was huge (at least that’s what it seemed to me as a child). It was big enough to be almost self-sustainable, anyway with fruit and vegetables.

I owe my Grandma many wonderful memories of us together in the garden, eating fresh carrots, just simply wiping off the dirt or raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, gooseberries, apples, apricots, directly from bush or tree to mouth and standing in the kitchen cooking the world’s best vegetable soups.

She always had those rosy cheeks and the strong and healthy body that you would expect from a woman who has survived a war and managed an immaculate garden, which she loved keeping in perfect shape and knew everything about how to do it.

Seeing how my Grandma’s body changed made me appreciate even more that I was healthy and fit and that I could do the things I love to do like dance, work out, go for a walk…

My client and ‘Anna-Oma’ (that’s how I called Grandma) reminded me how important it is to

Respect Your BODY

Respect the signs your body is giving you. Typically, your body will tell you what you need to do.

If you are tired, rest and find out why you are tired.
Have you eaten too much food that does not deliver enough energy? Did you drink enough? Did you have enough sleep? Does your body get enough exercise to feel refreshed? Do you get enough fresh air? Do you breath deeply to get lots of oxygen in your system to sustain your brain and other organ to function at their best?

Respect your MIND

If you experience symptoms of discomfort or dis-ease, where do you feel them in your body?
Every body part is related to a topic in life. For example the throat, thyroids and shoulder area is related to truth and communication. A hoarse voice, a tenacious cough or a cold could be a sign that it is time to speak up, to speak your own truth or to find your truth, to learn how to communicate what bothers you or what would make you happy.

It also works the other way around: if your mind (conscious and unconscious) feels neglected, ignored or misunderstood, it will cause blockages in your body. If you are not congruent living your values, your mind will find ways to avoid those situations.

For example when someone highly values Health and works in a fast food restaurant (where they get paid to provide the customers with food they would not eat themselves), the value system would ‘go nuts’. Everything inside would be screaming “This is WRONG!” In order to avoid the situation the mind would cause blockages in the body that causes the person to feel sick, get heavy headaches, feel ill in the stomach – just about anything that will do the trick to avoid going back to work.

By knowing and respecting your values, you can take a lot of stress out of work. They will find ways to make you uncomfortable until you do anyway. For peace of mind it would be a great idea to get clear on your values (or virtues) and align them with work that is meaningful to you.

I am reading The Agony and the Ecstasy: A Biographical Novel of Michelangelo
again (the original from Irving Stone from 1963!), one of my favourite artists from the Renaissance. At the moment I am at the part where he is conducting dissections to explore and get an understanding how the body works, how muscles and bones are connected.

He respected the human body so much that he was even prepared to carry the burden and guilt of desecrating the dead in order to be able to honour the beauty of the ones alive.

Respect the Moment

The second reminder for Respect came through a documentary about a chef who explores the preparation of food and creation of dishes in the kitchens of Asia. On his journey he focuses rather on the ‘basic’ meals than the haute cuisine. Meals prepared from the people who prepare the food they grow locally or catch fresh.

In the sequel yesterday he was in Bali, where he spoke to a Swiss immigrant who explained why he would never ever leave the island again. He said what fascinates him most there is that the Bali people ‘live in the moment’.

“Look at them, they come from a fishing trip and may have caught five fish, but they are happy because it is enough for today. A young man had a bad car accident, broke his leg – but he is alive. That’s reason enough to be happy, because ‘it could have been worse’.”

He also said that the people are very respectful and very friendly towards visitors of their country. They look at other without judgment, take them as they come. They respect that you may have another religion, another skin colour or other interests.

A very typical scene in Bali is to see someone pray for guidance and protection and the sacrifice of food. Every feast will start with a ‘Thank You’ to the Gods in form of a plate of food that is brought to a shrine. The Respect for their Gods and their traditions is part of daily life in Bali.

From this respect for the moment, for others and for traditions comes a deep sense of calmness and peace.

Communities support each other, they fish together and share their catch, they live in big families while still respecting each other’s space (a family may share the same property and live close to each other, but each generation might have a separate ‘building’ and just share the amenities and the (outdoor) kitchen).

There would hardly be any reason for stress, because in Bali the elements that cause stress in a typical Western country are turned around into resources for a mind that is at peace with itself, with the community and with nature.

Respect your SPIRIT

And thirdly I shouldn’t have been surprised when I looked at my calendar and found this quote from Wayne Dyer:

Respect your oneness, and resist any pressure to be a conformist – be the being you came here to be.

You are unique and special and it is my personal belief that we are all here to serve a purpose. We come from one light and we are the light.

When we are out of alignment with ourselves, that’s when we feel overwhelmed or bored, but when we respect that we have a purpose and are willing to fulfill it, when we surrender to our purpose, that’s when true magic happens.

Respect your Purpose

Living on and with purpose and taking your life in your own hands can be challenging, because not everybody will be supportive if you step up to live to that standard. It may even be your own ego that is sabotaging you to find what you are meant to do and who you are meant to be in the first place.

From my own experience I would like to share that despite (or maybe even more because) of all the challenges, living an authentic life is extremely rewarding.

It is simple to change your life and sometimes it’s not easy. That’s why it is my aim to help you live the life you were born to live, to live on and with purpose, to show you how you can take your life back in your own hands and to offer you guidance during that transition.

Do you already live on and with purpose?

Please share your insights:

How did you find what you are meant to do? What did it take to become who you are meant to be? What is your mission to the world?

I’d love to hear your story. And if you think yours is nothing special, remember Amanda Marshall’s song: ‘Everybody’s Got A Story‘ and it may be yours that is inspiring another person who reads this.

Out of twelve only one interpretation comes close to a meaning of Surrender that I prefer most:

To give up in favour of another

The question is: of another What?

Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice. Better than knowledge is meditation. But better still is surrender of attachment to results, because there follows immediate peace. – Bhagavad Gita

The Meaning of Surrender

I found that the mainstream belief about Surrender is that you have to give up something that you like or would like to have, like winning an argument for example. But what if the true meaning of Surrender is to attain something?

What if instead of insisting on ‘being right’ in a discussion you would surrender to the other person(s) point of view and gain insights that you otherwise would have missed?

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to Surrender what you are for what you could become. – Author unknown

Surrender goes hand in hand with Faith. They work best together and to embrace one fully, it is essential to accept the other too.

Once you can Surrender to Faith, the power of this combination will start to reveal itself to you in almost miraculous ways.

If you choose to accept the interpretation above for Surrender,  you can tap into the secret of true and lasting change that separates the ones who `try´ from the ones that actually achieve a permanent transformation.

Faith and Surrender – A Power Team

Change is mainly a two step process with a presupposition:

The assumption that needs to be accepted is that change is possible at all and can be done by yourself.

1. First you identify the  behaviour or belief  you want to change,
2. then you replace it with a new one.

If you give yourself permission to have Faith and to Surrender, you will feel a kind of acceptance and peace.

It was when I surrendered and trusted that I have every resource I need within me, when I was able to do things that took me a lot of courage to do like

• my first jump from a boat into the open sea (quite a big thing when you are as afraid of sharks as I am)
• leading a night dive
• Bungee Jumping

or that seem to be impossible like

• braking a wooden board without even touching it
• pricking a straw through an apple or
• breaking an arrow (that was put with its tip on my throat and was broken by leaning against it)

It was in the moment of making the conscious decision to Surrender my fears in exchange for Trust when I felt connected to the mighty power that is within everybody who dares to take that step and I know that Surrender will be my secret shield when I do a fire walk with Anthony Robbins. (More about these “Out with old excuses. In with new goals.”- events here )

The power of Surrender

Maybe you have experienced a similar moment. Maybe you did even scarier things like a sky dive or jumping out of a plane. Maybe you had really scary or life threatening moments when you thought you would die and when you then Surrendered to that possibility you have been given a second chance to live…

If you have, you will agree that the ‘Team Faith/Surrender‘ was there to support you and you will be able to remember how it felt to ‘be in the moment’ when everything around you happens like in slow motion.

Do you remember how radiant, vibrant, alive, excited, vivid and energetic you felt afterwards? How would you have completed this sentence:

“If I can do/survive this,…..  “?

If you haven’t had this kind of experience yet, when would be a good time to get out of your comfort zone and try something new (of course I am not talking about causing an accident here, right?)?
What would be one thing that you have put of until now, knowing that if you finally did it, it would make the difference in moving forward in your career, relationship or somehow else in your life?

What would it take to make that step?

Surrender – it will set yourself free.

Find out how YOU can seize control of your destiny and create more wealth, prosperity and fulfilment on every level of your life and be part of an event that will enable you too to start writing your new future.

Upcoming seminars in Europe, Australia and New Zealand here.

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We all have a different environment we live in, a different “map of the world”, education, strategy…
When we want to step up, we are transitioning to being a person with new, different or better skills than we had before. Those transitions make the stories of our lives. They are what makes it interesting, challenging and rewarding. The bigger the challenge, the more interesting is the story and the bigger is the reward that we experience when have grown beyond what we thought we are capable of achieving.

The bigger the challenge, the more inspiring the story.

No matter where the wonderful people who gave their statements below came from, they were facing change maybe just like you do. What separates them from the crowd is that they were and still are committed to face the challenges that often come with change, they got some guidance to lead them on their journey and they followed through with action.

Whether you are a business owner, want to start a business, want to find your passion or new motivation for your work, increase your confidence and (self-) leadership skills or simply look for support and guidance through a challenging phase in your life where you face change by choice or necessity, Transition Guidance is supporting you to come out stronger on the other side and to create the life you dream of.

So, what’s YOUR inspirational story?

Have a look at this inspiring story:

What is it that is challenging you at the moment? What is the opportunity that lies in there?

Read about more transformations here.