An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.

I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger, fear, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked: “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”

The old Cherokee simply replied:” The one you feed.”

If it is important that you absorb information quickly or that you do a task efficiently and without mistakes you want to be able to concentrate, to focus your attention and your energy on one specific thing.

Step 1 – Improve The Basics

Stress of any kind is a major influence on our ability to concentrate, so the main aim when it comes to improving our concentration is to take away some of the stresses that prevent it.

Some easy to control factors are:

• Sleep – make sure you get enough (not too little, but neither too much)
• Breaks – allow yourself short breaks between tasks where you sit and think of nothing, at least not of the task you just finished or the one you are about to start
• Balance – in your leisure time, establish activities that are of different dynamics and energy than your main work. Balance a stressful work environment with activities that are calming and a quiet, very structured and repetitive workplace with playful and adventurous endeavours.
• Nourishment – Nutritious food, a healthy amount of  water at room temperature and exercise are essential to supply body and brain with the energy to concentrate, so are fresh air and natural light

Additionally you might consider, if possible, what time of the day you do the tasks that require your focus. Some people work best in the early morning, some prefer late nights and sometimes that may change too. Observe yourself, listen within and get familiar with your own needs and strengths.

Be careful with the consumption of coffein as a stimulant. It may give you a quick kick, but eventually causes dehydration, which your brain won’t like as it needs a healthy fluid balance in order to concentrate.

Step 2 – Have A Break

Some people have a tendency to push themselves hard and to go without a break until the job is finished. Sitting back and taking a nice deep breath is regarded as the reward that comes at the end of the task (if it comes at all).

However, having regular and refreshing breaks is essential in order to enable concentrated working. If you keep on pushing, the effect will be contrariwise: you will be too exhausted to keep going and over time your body and mind will develop unconscious strategies to avoid being under such stress again. Procrastination anyone?

So give yourself a regular break, where you intentionally and mindfully relax. This means that you are not filling it with an activity that again requires your attention, like reading or watching TV. Instead, literally smell the roses, sit down to listen to some music, do a breathing exercise or take a short walk in fresh air.

Take your breaks before you feel the signs of exhaustion. That way your break can provide more recovery quality and you will reload quicker than when you are already running on empty. Remind yourself with a timer that you set on 45-60 minutes and allow at least 5 minutes to reload your energy.

Step 3 – Create A Supportive Environment

The environment we live or work in has also a big impact on our ability to concentrate. Feng Shui is an ancient art and science that deals with the mutual effect of  Chi (energy) and environment and gives suggestions how to improve the flow of energy in internal and external spaces.

But you don’t have to be an expert in Feng Shui to create space that supports your concentration. Here are some simple to implement ideas:

Phone/Mobile – turn it off! It’s that simple

Sign -Let the people around you know that you don’t want to be interrupted with a ‘Do not disturb’ sign. And shut your door!

Declutter – put away everything from your desk that is not related to your work and that has the potential to take away your attention from your task. A clean desk leads to a focused mind.

Move -create some space for movement. Ideally, have a mat handy for a quick Yoga posture, a breathing exercise or some stretches.

Reduce – remove every picture or furniture that you don’t need in your room and keep it clean and tidy. As with your desk, the less there is to take your attention away, the easier it is to concentrate.

Music – turn it off if it distracts you or try whether some nice background music is supporting your concentration. If you prefer to have some background sounds, choose from a CD or put your own collection together.

If you work for a company, you might have to ask permission to change things around. However, if you explain to your employer that you would like to make a few (appropriate!) changes in order to increase your concentration – and therefore your performance -  it is very like that your boss will happily agree.

Step 4 – Find Your Stressors

After finding out what supports your concentration, have a look what may trouble you. There are some factors that you won’t be able to influence. You’ll simply have to find a way to live with them. However, there are a few measures you can take to deal with potential stress factors.

External Factors

There are quite a few factors that – once recognised – can be eliminated. They are again very individual. What bothers one, another may not even take notice of.

Noises -from traffic, people in the streets, loud music, voices, machinery or similar can easily distract us and disturb our concentration. Train yourself to get accustomed to external noises without losing focus. Alternatively, try earplugs. You may feel funny to do so in the beginning, but you will soon get over it.

Other People – Colleagues, children or other family members can become real concentration killers, for example if you don’t have your own office where you can shut the door. If possible try to have the house for yourself during the times when you really need to concentrate, find a bit of room in a part of the house that is not so much frequented, try to arrange something with a friend or simply go back to earplugs.

Odours – Even odours can derange us. These are hard to avoid and to make it worse they are very powerful. You can try to fight them with your own set of  fragrances from incense sticks or burning your favourite oils. Go for the woody essential oils, like Bergamotte, Cypress or Sandalwood. Their fragrance does not only more easily overpower annoying odours, they are also supportive for your concentration.

Other Stressors – If you start to focus on things that catch your attention, you might be surprised how little things can suddenly be annoying, like a shrill colour, the busy-ness of a picture, a pattern, a dripping appliance, a sound that can’t be located…Many of those can be eliminated, once we have finally become aware what the problem is.

Internal Factors

Internal factors, like a merry-go-round of thoughts in our head, worries, high expectations or critical self-talk can easily throw us off balance.

It is hard to concentrate if your thoughts easily wonder off or you constantly worry about things, even more so when you start to feel guilty about not being able to concentrate. A downward spiral into a place where concentration feels impossible seems inevitable.

A simple exercise may help to break the viscous cycle: Write your thoughts down.

1. When you find your thoughts spinning in your head and you just can´t turn them off, get yourself a piece of paper, a pen and a stop watch that you set on a 3-5 minute countdown.
2. Start to write down everything that comes into your mind without stopping until your set time is over or your paper is full.
3. Imagine that by writing your thoughts down, they actually get sucked out of your head onto the paper – a bit like Dumbledore does it with his wand in the Harry Potter books.
4. Put your paper aside and notice how your head feels lighter

This exercise has a few positive effects:

• You allow your thoughts to come up and be heard
• You pay attention to the things that bother you, which is part of becoming more aligned with yourself
• You can more easily let go of the thoughts, because you have written them down, hence your unconscious mind recognises that they won´t be forgotten and will therefore allow you to calm down

Step 5 – Train Yourself

Our ability to concentrate can decrease over time, if we are exposed to many or continuing stresses for a while. The good news is, it can also be improved if we train ourselves to do so.

If you choose to train yourself, remember to have fun with it. This will ensure that you’ll have better results than if you’d look at the exercises as another thing you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to do them, don’t do them!

However if you would like to train yourself to improve your concentration, here are a few ideas to get you going.

The Watch-Watcher

Level 1

1. Grab a watch with a second hand.
2. For two minutes, observe the second hand as if there was nothing else important in the world
3. If you loose track because your thoughts wandered off, start again for two minutes

Level 2

Once you have mastered level 1, lift the bar:

1. Put the watch on your TV or very close, while there is an interesting movie or program going on.
2. Only watch the second hand and don’t allow the TV to take your attention away

Level 3

Now we’re talking!

1. While watching the second hand for two minutes, continue to recite the following number pattern:

               2 4 6 8 10 8 6 4 2 4 6

As soon as you find yourself drifting off, start again. Keep going for at least two minutes.

Mandala

Colouring in Mandalas is a fun way to improve your concentration.

1. Find yourself one that you like and that has lots of little  different segments to colour in
2. Decide on a pattern how you are going to colour it in. Stick to that pattern
3. Start colouring in, using either one colour first until you coloured every pattern with that one colour before moving on to the next or complete one set of segments in different colours, then the next. Choose the option that is more challenging in terms of concentration

Word/Letter Puzzle

Option 1

1. Find yourself a puzzle where you have a number of given words that you are supposed to find in a field of letters (up, down, diagonal, forwards, backwards, upside down…)

Option 2

1. Create your own puzzle:
2. Make a few copies of a paragraph of text from a newsletter or magazine with around 1000 words. Hint: up to here you have around 1700 words in this article)
3. Choose a letter that usually appears quite often, like A or E or N
4. Circle each letter of your choice in the text of one of the copies and count them
5. Check again with another copy. Do you have the same number?

Memory

Memory is a great game that is also particularly good for children to help them improve their concentration.

Choose a memory game with pictures that are appealing to you or make your own.

1. Place all the cards face down either in an ordered structure of rows and lines or randomly all over the place
2. There is always a pair of the same picture that you have to find by turning two and remembering where they are
3. If you turn two that are the same, you may take them and have another go, otherwise it’s the next player’s turn
4. Keep going until all cards have been taken
5. Then go again.

You will find that once you have played the game three times in a row, it gets more and more challenging to remember where a card is placed.

Have a break after three games.

Step 6 – Monitor Your Progress

Like with every exercise that you do, it is a good idea to monitor your progress.

Get yourself a little notebook where you put down your main stress factors/concentration killers, what you did to eliminate or reduce them or how you chose to cope with them. After a while check in how your concentration has changed as a result of your efforts, what worked and what didn’t.

Remember to give yourself a little reward when you notice some improvement!

 Step  7 – Establish Cross References Through Anchoring

This is a technique from NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming. With it you can program yourself to better concentration – literally by ‘pressing a button’.

1. Decide where you want to set your ‘anchor’, preferably at a place that is easy to access, but won’t be touched by others than yourself; knuckle valleys are ideal.
2. Remember a time when you were extremely focused and concentrated, when nothing could take away your attention. Let the image of this specific event become bright in colours, intensive with sounds and most importantly, connect to the feeling of being totally focused and concentrated.
3. When you find yourself at the peak of intensity for being concentrated, press your anchor for a few seconds, just as long as you are at the peak. Let go when the intensity drops.
4. Repeat with another event where you felt totally focused, absolutely concentrated.
5. Now think of something different, like what you had for lunch yesterday
6. Then test your anchor by pressing your knuckle or wherever you set your anchor. Do you feel how you suddenly start to recall the state of being totally concentrated?
7. ‘Stack’ your anchor. Whenever you are in a deep state of concentration, press your anchor to intensify it. That way your anchor is getting stronger over time.

It is the perfect time to address life issues such as thinking about one’s life direction or purpose, ambition or stamina, to re-assess the choices we made or are about to make, to listen to the power of silence and what is said between words.

The corresponding element is Water, which stands for flow and change and while this naturally – and historically – is a time where people are most prone to fear and anxiety, which at the same time gives us the opportunity to respond to crises with courage, audacity or bravery.

The perfect tools to match and utilise the energy of winter are deep relaxation and meditation. Several studies and clinical research have confirmed that meditation helps to lower blood pressure, reduces the risk of heart attack or stroke, boosts intelligence, stimulates stem cell growth, relieves depression and anxiety, and even aids weight loss, eases chronic pain, decreases substance abuse or reduces hyperactivity in children.

While some people equate meditation with sitting cross legged in a corner in front of a Buddha, meditation can be performed in many ways, which can be categorised in different categories:

Passive Meditation

A passive meditation is where you actually sit or lie down and are in some way guided through a meditation in form of a story, metaphor, analogy or very clear instructions.

The participants follow the instructions or the story, which can be specifically tailored to a life issue or a certain purpose, like stress management, focus and concentration, goal achievement, self-awareness or personal growth or to address emotional imbalances.

Passive meditation can be beneficial if a person is in an acute state of pain or overwhelm, because it allows the participant to physically and mentally relax almost instantly, just by simply sitting or lying down.

Active Meditation

An active meditation is generally rather self-generated and requires a bit more responsibility, which is the very reason why it usually is also more beneficial and effective.

There are many ways to meditate actively, including writing, active imagination, visualisation or mindful exercises like Qi Gong, Tai Chi or Yoga.

The benefits of meditation are manifold, sustainable and long-term. Whether you intent to release pain, improve your overall health, increase your energy, better manage emotions or generally balance them, boost your confidence, courage, memory or concentration skills or use meditation to attract success, manifest goals or the quality of your personal or professional relationships, there is always a meditation that supports your objective, no matter how ‘big or small’.

Meditation is an inexpensive, efficient and natural tool to relax and even heal

Wu Wei

When Chinese tradition mentions Wu Wei – the path to relaxation – they suggest the following approach:

• Do not try to relax, simply perform those techniques which lead to relaxation.
• Decide what your objective is. Select techniques of action that should achieve your objective, then forget the objective and focus on experiencing the techniques.
• Don’t worry about expectations or outcomes, have total awareness of what you are doing and feeling when you perform the techniques.
• During the doing, enjoy and be aware of doing only. Be there, experience the moment.
• Periodically seek feedback to assure you have selected the right techniques.

Meditation is one technique to reduce, cope with or eliminate stress and increase your enerCHI. There are more ideas in the categories Balance, Healing & Relaxation, Life Leadership or Reducing, managing and preventing Stress.

With knowledge always comes responsibility,which is why some people choose to rather not pursue to find out what they are uniquely designed to do.

Many ask themselves “What will happen if I find out what my purpose is but fail to live/achieve it?” instead of embracing the opportunity to experience a life that is filled with meaning and  – well, purpose.

It sure takes courage, determination, commitment, most likely a lot of perseverance and sometimes support and guidance to perform such a task.

So here is a simple 5-step process, as explained in an easy-to-remember analogy on five fingers by Mat Boggs, that can help you to become aware of a destination that can spark an amazing journey called living on purpose:

1. Thumbs UP – Joy

The thumb stands for the things that you enjoy most.

What are the things that bring spark into you your life? What gives you natural joy?
If you have a day that you can spend as you like, what are the things that you would choose to do?

These are natural preferences that tie in beautifully with your purpose, even though it may not be very obvious how.

2. Index finger – Priority

Your Index finger points out your precedents.

What are your highest priorities in life? What do you value most in terms of your relationships, your work, social connections, life in general?

Your core virtues and what you value most are always aligned with your purpose

3. Middle finger (keep it down) – Fear

What is it that ignites fear in you? What tasks would make a huge difference in your life if you only were not so afraid of doing them?

Purpose is all about growth and expression. To keep you safe, your unconscious mind will look out for anything that it considers a thread to staying in your comfort zone and disguises it as “fear”.

When you start to investigate what is really holding you back you will be surprised to realise that more often than the fear of failure it is the fear of success that keeps you from achieving your goals.

4. Ring finger – Commitment

The fourth finger stands for your commitments.

What do you spend hours doing that feels like minutes? When are you loosing track of time? What do you do that others experience work but for you it’s play?

What could you talk about to people even if they aren’t really interested in what you have to say? What are you passionate about?

If you had a room that you could design specifically to suit your passion, what would it look like?

5. Little finger – Talent

Your little finger represents your talents.

What comes easy to you that others may find challenging? What do you have a natural talent for? When others come to you to ask for help, what is it they are expecting from you? What is it that do better than them? What´s the pattern?

Your talents will also always be aligned with your purpose.

Sometimes it is more difficult for us to see our talents than it is for those around us, because they are so natural and a matter of course for us, that we simply take them for granted and expect it to be that way for everyone.

If you experience these difficulties, simply ask your 5-10 best friends to independently write down what they think your 10 best talents are, then compare their answers. They may be very surprising!

So here you’ve got the 5-finger test that can give you some clues about your purpose.

Still without a clue?

If you are still absolute clueless because the test did not reveal anything to you, you might need support to dig even deeper than you dare to do on your own. You may very well be very close to uncovering your purpose, which might sound the alarm bell in your ego.

You always have the choice of opting out here and pretending that “others may have a purpose but I don’t and to be honest I don’t want to know!”, but there will always be the underlying question:

“What if….?”

What if you found your purpose and suddenly your life would make sense?

What if you finally knew how to best use your talents and live a life on your terms?

What if knowing your purpose would fill your life with meaning where there was none before?

What if finally knowing what you are designed to do would give you the peace and contentedness you have been searching, praying and hoping for so long?

What if not (daring  to) find you purpose will be the one thing that you will regret most at the end of your life?

There a many books out there that talk about finding your purpose. One I like to recommend is Tim Kelley`s True Purpose – 12 Strategies for Discovering the Difference You Are Meant to Make. It offers different strategies to choose from and gives explanations about the how, what, why, what-if question we face when we start pursuing our purpose.

Trying to discover your purpose can be challenging for many reasons. Having someone to hold you responsible for your commitments, to guide you when you are stuck, to explore with you why and challenge you when you get stuck or even just to acknowledge you when you have a breakthrough can make a huge difference.

Knowing that, Tim Kelley has trained a selected number of Purpose Coaches and I had the honour to work with one of them when I made the decision to take my life to another level.

Shiona Long, from Authentic Success, is one very talented and gifted Purpose Coach, who is walking the talk with passion and integrity. She patiently supported and challenged me on my journey of finding my purpose, which was the most important decision I ever made and the one that made me realise that there is a reason why I am who I am.

It was a wonderful, challenging, eye-opening, sometimes scary discovery.

I wish for you that discovering your purpose will be the key to unlock your potential, so that you can start or continue to even more purposefully let your unique light shine with courage, and as a result of that help to make this world a better place.

How come some people set goals and achieve them seemingly easily while others struggle to get anywhere in life?

Norman Vincent Peale gave us an answer when he said that “All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do.”

There are however some rules for powerful goal setting and an easy way to remember them is by making them A.U.T.H.E.N.T.I.C.™

A – Aspiring and Actionable

When setting a goal it is important to word it in the positive. Say what you want, not what you don’t want.
Example: Instead of: “I don’t want be be alone anymore” say: “I enjoy a fulfilling relationship with my partner”

Also choose a goal about which you can take some kind of action. What can you do personally to work towards it?

U – Ultimate and Uncluttered

To achieve a goal there is work involved. So why settle for mediocre when you might as well go for the ultimate goal? Often the amount of effort to go for the big dream is even less than that for the mediocre one.

When writing down your goal, make it short and memorable, so that you could tell it someone in 10 seconds or less.

T – Thyself and Tingling

Make it YOUR goal, not someone else’s. Only if YOU really want it, you will have the power to achieve it. Too often we are tempted to adopt other people’s goals as our own, especially if they are very clear and generally inspiring. Better double check whether your looking for approval from your environment by achieving what would be an acceptable or respectable target in your circle of influence. If you decide that you would attempt this goal with or without consent from others, go for it!

Check whether your goal makes you tingle. Does it give you goose bumps or butterflies in your stomach? Does it excite you? Is it something you will be tenacious about?

H – Healthy and Honourable

When you achieve your goal – will it be good for you, good for others and good for the greater good or your community? Only if it is ethical you will get the divine support to achieve it.

Make it something that when you think back, you will be proud of.

E – Emotional and Evidence

Get some emotions involved, but choose the empowering ones. What about the goal will motivate you when the going gets tough?

How will you know that you have achieved your goal? What will you see, hear, feel, smell, taste? What pictures, sounds or feelings are involved (this is where you get really specific!)

N – Non-negotiable and Numerable

Make your goal non-negotiable. It may take some time and you might have to go some detours, but never let someone talk you out of it. If you have been given the desire for it, it means that you have the strength to pursue it too.

Have a goal where you can measure the results, ideally by physically creating some kind of ‘hardware’, that you can measure in numbers. If your goal anticipates a state, like being more relaxed, assess your current situation on a scale from one to 10 and then define some measurable criteria: “I know that I am more relaxed when I can turn off my mind for 10 minutes”…

T – Timeframe and TEAM

By when would you like to achieve your goal? Goals are dreams with deadlines. Start your goal with “By the 17th of September 2010…..” or even “By 6pm tonight …”

Who do you need to support you? Together Everybody Achieves More. Who would you like to have on your team to cheer you up when you’re down, who holds you accountable, who can complement your strengths and compensate your weaknesses? Who can give you the tools and strategies you need to succeed?

I – Inspiration and “I” language

Make your goal as inspirational as possible. How is your goal representing who you are? What is your intention, the real purpose for you wanting to achieve this goal? Can you be an inspiration for others?

The most powerful statements begin with “I am…” or “I have…”. Choose everything that comes after that wisely, because your words become your actions, your results, your character and ultimately your destiny.

C – Choice and Commitment

You have a free will to choose your outcome – your pain and your pleasure. Which pain do you want to let go of? What is the pleasure you want to gain?

What’s your level of commitment? How far will you go? Are you ready to leave your old you behind and become the person you need to be? If you are willing to pay the price, the goal is within your reach. It is never too late become who you might have been!

Tim Kelley promises 12 Strategies for Discovering the Difference You Are Meant to Make and he delivers.

I could not agree more with Helen Palmer, the author of The Enneagram who says:

“Tim Kelley’s work is of the highest caliber. His insight, precision and skill shine out from a field that is typically hazy. If you are called to explore the realm of purpose, I know of no better guide than Tim.”

What I really like about this work is that Tim starts where many others leave you lost:

He is not only talking about the importance or the impact that finding your purpose can have on your life, he shows you how to do it.

I appreciate that while showing how to discover your trusted source, the author does offer suggestions but leaves it up to the reader where to find it, which means that whether or not you belong to any kind of religion, you will be able to talk to an entity that you can refer to.

Although initially I found it very challenging to read the book chapter wise and work through each one before moving to the next as my coach had instructed, this seems to be the most valuable approach.

The guidance from my coach Shiona Long from Authentic Success, who is an accredited facilitator for Tim Kelley’s purpose work, has been absolutely incredible to make this a book that will always be close to my heart as the one that provides me with invaluable insights about myself, discovering who I truly am and the difference I am here to make.

If discipline is challenging you or you have never had any kind of coaching before, I recommend finding a facilitator to guide you through the book, so that you get the most out of it. However, if you are familiar with conversations (like prayer) to a higher entity (God, angels, Buddha…) or meditation, you will get a lot from this book by working through it yourself too.

A must for anyone who wants to take their life back in their hands, discover what their blessing and mission is and how to make a powerful statement about the difference you are meant to make.

If you are looking for a parenting handbook, look no further. The Family Virtues Guide written by Linda Kavelin Popov offers you a manual that delivers the best foundation possible of how to raise a child in any culture or society.

Her ‘Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves’ contain valuable insights in who our children really are, parenting principles and practices and how to apply The Family Virtues Guide in your family.

A description of 52 ‘Gifts Within’  helps to understand each virtue, why to practice it, how to practice it, how to recognise when a virtue is practised and when it needs more attention as well as an affirmation and a drawing to visualise an example.

It is a book that should be given or at least recommended to each new parent – the earlier the better.

Have a look inside and find out why The Family Virtues Guide is one of those books that have the potential to make the world a better place – one person at a time!

My personal lessons almost always come in three. Yesterday my lesson was about Respect.

First I was reminded how important it is to Respect our body. Visiting a client in a nursing home brought memories back when my Grandmother had a stroke and needed care. Living in the same little village, my mother saw her three times a day to do the daily tasks like washing and feeding her, cleaning the house, giving her comfort and company.

We lived across the road from my Grandma’s place, but having three little children at that time and studying Architecture, I did not always find or take the time to visit her. However, when my mother needed a break, I took over her duties.

Grandma always loved gardening. Before she moved to the village where my Mum lived and I grew up, she had her own house with a garden that was huge (at least that’s what it seemed to me as a child). It was big enough to be almost self-sustainable, anyway with fruit and vegetables.

I owe my Grandma many wonderful memories of us together in the garden, eating fresh carrots, just simply wiping off the dirt or raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, gooseberries, apples, apricots, directly from bush or tree to mouth and standing in the kitchen cooking the world’s best vegetable soups.

She always had those rosy cheeks and the strong and healthy body that you would expect from a woman who has survived a war and managed an immaculate garden, which she loved keeping in perfect shape and knew everything about how to do it.

Seeing how my Grandma’s body changed made me appreciate even more that I was healthy and fit and that I could do the things I love to do like dance, work out, go for a walk…

My client and ‘Anna-Oma’ (that’s how I called Grandma) reminded me how important it is to

Respect Your BODY

Respect the signs your body is giving you. Typically, your body will tell you what you need to do.

If you are tired, rest and find out why you are tired.
Have you eaten too much food that does not deliver enough energy? Did you drink enough? Did you have enough sleep? Does your body get enough exercise to feel refreshed? Do you get enough fresh air? Do you breath deeply to get lots of oxygen in your system to sustain your brain and other organ to function at their best?

Respect your MIND

If you experience symptoms of discomfort or dis-ease, where do you feel them in your body?
Every body part is related to a topic in life. For example the throat, thyroids and shoulder area is related to truth and communication. A hoarse voice, a tenacious cough or a cold could be a sign that it is time to speak up, to speak your own truth or to find your truth, to learn how to communicate what bothers you or what would make you happy.

It also works the other way around: if your mind (conscious and unconscious) feels neglected, ignored or misunderstood, it will cause blockages in your body. If you are not congruent living your values, your mind will find ways to avoid those situations.

For example when someone highly values Health and works in a fast food restaurant (where they get paid to provide the customers with food they would not eat themselves), the value system would ‘go nuts’. Everything inside would be screaming “This is WRONG!” In order to avoid the situation the mind would cause blockages in the body that causes the person to feel sick, get heavy headaches, feel ill in the stomach – just about anything that will do the trick to avoid going back to work.

By knowing and respecting your values, you can take a lot of stress out of work. They will find ways to make you uncomfortable until you do anyway. For peace of mind it would be a great idea to get clear on your values (or virtues) and align them with work that is meaningful to you.

I am reading The Agony and the Ecstasy: A Biographical Novel of Michelangelo
again (the original from Irving Stone from 1963!), one of my favourite artists from the Renaissance. At the moment I am at the part where he is conducting dissections to explore and get an understanding how the body works, how muscles and bones are connected.

He respected the human body so much that he was even prepared to carry the burden and guilt of desecrating the dead in order to be able to honour the beauty of the ones alive.

Respect the Moment

The second reminder for Respect came through a documentary about a chef who explores the preparation of food and creation of dishes in the kitchens of Asia. On his journey he focuses rather on the ‘basic’ meals than the haute cuisine. Meals prepared from the people who prepare the food they grow locally or catch fresh.

In the sequel yesterday he was in Bali, where he spoke to a Swiss immigrant who explained why he would never ever leave the island again. He said what fascinates him most there is that the Bali people ‘live in the moment’.

“Look at them, they come from a fishing trip and may have caught five fish, but they are happy because it is enough for today. A young man had a bad car accident, broke his leg – but he is alive. That’s reason enough to be happy, because ‘it could have been worse’.”

He also said that the people are very respectful and very friendly towards visitors of their country. They look at other without judgment, take them as they come. They respect that you may have another religion, another skin colour or other interests.

A very typical scene in Bali is to see someone pray for guidance and protection and the sacrifice of food. Every feast will start with a ‘Thank You’ to the Gods in form of a plate of food that is brought to a shrine. The Respect for their Gods and their traditions is part of daily life in Bali.

From this respect for the moment, for others and for traditions comes a deep sense of calmness and peace.

Communities support each other, they fish together and share their catch, they live in big families while still respecting each other’s space (a family may share the same property and live close to each other, but each generation might have a separate ‘building’ and just share the amenities and the (outdoor) kitchen).

There would hardly be any reason for stress, because in Bali the elements that cause stress in a typical Western country are turned around into resources for a mind that is at peace with itself, with the community and with nature.

Respect your SPIRIT

And thirdly I shouldn’t have been surprised when I looked at my calendar and found this quote from Wayne Dyer:

Respect your oneness, and resist any pressure to be a conformist – be the being you came here to be.

You are unique and special and it is my personal belief that we are all here to serve a purpose. We come from one light and we are the light.

When we are out of alignment with ourselves, that’s when we feel overwhelmed or bored, but when we respect that we have a purpose and are willing to fulfill it, when we surrender to our purpose, that’s when true magic happens.

Respect your Purpose

Living on and with purpose and taking your life in your own hands can be challenging, because not everybody will be supportive if you step up to live to that standard. It may even be your own ego that is sabotaging you to find what you are meant to do and who you are meant to be in the first place.

From my own experience I would like to share that despite (or maybe even more because) of all the challenges, living an authentic life is extremely rewarding.

It is simple to change your life and sometimes it’s not easy. That’s why it is my aim to help you live the life you were born to live, to live on and with purpose, to show you how you can take your life back in your own hands and to offer you guidance during that transition.

Do you already live on and with purpose?

Please share your insights:

How did you find what you are meant to do? What did it take to become who you are meant to be? What is your mission to the world?

I’d love to hear your story. And if you think yours is nothing special, remember Amanda Marshall’s song: ‘Everybody’s Got A Story‘ and it may be yours that is inspiring another person who reads this.

Out of twelve only one interpretation comes close to a meaning of Surrender that I prefer most:

To give up in favour of another

The question is: of another What?

Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice. Better than knowledge is meditation. But better still is surrender of attachment to results, because there follows immediate peace. – Bhagavad Gita

The Meaning of Surrender

I found that the mainstream belief about Surrender is that you have to give up something that you like or would like to have, like winning an argument for example. But what if the true meaning of Surrender is to attain something?

What if instead of insisting on ‘being right’ in a discussion you would surrender to the other person(s) point of view and gain insights that you otherwise would have missed?

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to Surrender what you are for what you could become. – Author unknown

Surrender goes hand in hand with Faith. They work best together and to embrace one fully, it is essential to accept the other too.

Once you can Surrender to Faith, the power of this combination will start to reveal itself to you in almost miraculous ways.

If you choose to accept the interpretation above for Surrender,  you can tap into the secret of true and lasting change that separates the ones who `try´ from the ones that actually achieve a permanent transformation.

Faith and Surrender – A Power Team

Change is mainly a two step process with a presupposition:

The assumption that needs to be accepted is that change is possible at all and can be done by yourself.

1. First you identify the  behaviour or belief  you want to change,
2. then you replace it with a new one.

If you give yourself permission to have Faith and to Surrender, you will feel a kind of acceptance and peace.

It was when I surrendered and trusted that I have every resource I need within me, when I was able to do things that took me a lot of courage to do like

• my first jump from a boat into the open sea (quite a big thing when you are as afraid of sharks as I am)
• leading a night dive
• Bungee Jumping

or that seem to be impossible like

• braking a wooden board without even touching it
• pricking a straw through an apple or
• breaking an arrow (that was put with its tip on my throat and was broken by leaning against it)

It was in the moment of making the conscious decision to Surrender my fears in exchange for Trust when I felt connected to the mighty power that is within everybody who dares to take that step and I know that Surrender will be my secret shield when I do a fire walk with Anthony Robbins. (More about these “Out with old excuses. In with new goals.”- events here )

The power of Surrender

Maybe you have experienced a similar moment. Maybe you did even scarier things like a sky dive or jumping out of a plane. Maybe you had really scary or life threatening moments when you thought you would die and when you then Surrendered to that possibility you have been given a second chance to live…

If you have, you will agree that the ‘Team Faith/Surrender‘ was there to support you and you will be able to remember how it felt to ‘be in the moment’ when everything around you happens like in slow motion.

Do you remember how radiant, vibrant, alive, excited, vivid and energetic you felt afterwards? How would you have completed this sentence:

“If I can do/survive this,…..  “?

If you haven’t had this kind of experience yet, when would be a good time to get out of your comfort zone and try something new (of course I am not talking about causing an accident here, right?)?
What would be one thing that you have put of until now, knowing that if you finally did it, it would make the difference in moving forward in your career, relationship or somehow else in your life?

What would it take to make that step?

Surrender – it will set yourself free.

What a powerful word, don’t you think?

What is Faith?

According to the dictionary it is a…

…confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

or a

strong or unshakeable belief in something, especially without proof or evidence.

Descriptions of Faith also include:

a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny;
(as in: “he lost his faith but not his morality”)

A belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

Loyalty or even allegiance to a person, dogma, principle, cause or thing.

secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God’s will

a set of principles or beliefs

the body of dogma of a religion

How Faith works

Keep the Faith

Believe in yourself no matter what it willl take
You can be a winner but you got to keep the Faith!