Authenticity – Or: Being Free To Be Me!

In Earl Nightingale´s classic recording ´The Strangest Secret´ he quotes Rollo May who said:

The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice – it’s conformity!

Nightingale then goes on to explain:

And there you have the trouble today. It’s conformity! People like being like everyone else, without knowing why, without knowing where they’re going.

Over the years I have discovered that this is a phenomenon that can cause a lot of stress. How do I know? I experienced it first hand, because I refused to conform.

When (almost) all the girls in my class were ´Poppers´, I was a ´Rocker´.
When girls were expected to wear skirts and pumps , I was wearing my jeans and ´adidas three stripes´.
When my peers studied, got married and had children, I got married, had children and then started to study.

After all the discussions I had with my parents, shaking heads from the rest of my family and lack of comprehension from my peers and colleagues for being so different, I can testify that being expected to conform has caused a lot of stress in my life.

But I had a lot of fun, I enjoyed life and I took every opportunity to be free to be me.

Except for one occasion:

There have been different careers that I was intrigued to pursue, but one was most outstanding: to become a carpenter (specifically: furniture designer). But when it came to making the decision to make a dream a reality, I chose to listen to advice from people who told me why I should not go that path (too hard for a woman, not profitable, no future for that, not the right thing for me…) and I learned to become a sales representative instead.

Now the only reason why I even had a chance to get one of the rare, sought after and popular apprenticeships was because I had ´connections´ – indispensable for a corporate career if you were not extremely talented . So I did my trainings, on site and at school and passed the necessary tests to get a title and to be accepted at the Chamber of Industry and Commerce.

The problem was, I wasn´t happy. Not at all. Being an Industrial Sales Representative was so far away from who I was, that it was only a matter of time when the problems would start.

To make a long story short, my first son gave me the opportunity to be physically away from the company and doing a job that was neither challenging nor fulfilling me – it simply almost ´bored me to death.´

Though today I am not a carpenter either, the work I currently do is who I am. It is fulfilling me, rewarding me, making me happy and it is what I call my temporary purpose.

Living an authentic life has helped me to make a difference in people´s lives that I never would have been able to make in my first job. What I do now is not a job. It is not even a profession. It is a calling.

The first moment I realised this was one I cherish like gold, because it had a profound impact on my body, my soul and my spirit.

Since then, I had the opportunity to notice the same or very similar effects on other people´s body, mind and spirit too.

Here is what I observed:

Impact on the BODY:

People who are not living authentically with their true self

• feel like there is a heavy burden on their shoulders
• have a low immune system
• often develop eating disorders and weight problems
• have low energy levels
• often create chronic illnesses

Impact on the MIND:

People who are not living authentically with their true self

• are often nervous
• get easily stressed and overwhelmed
• are inclined to excessively beat themselves up over trivialities
• find it hard to build relationships with colleagues
• experience their work as hard

Impact on the SPIRIT:

People who are not living authentically with their true self

• easily give in to feelings of anger, frustration, sadness or fear
• feel unfulfilled and out of alignment
• get easily bored with/in their jobs
• have the feeling that there is something important missing in their life
• seem to be (and often are) unsettled

Living authentically means doing what you love and loving what you do for a living. Living an authentic life also means being true to yourself, to who you really are.

Authenticity means being free to be you, free from the need to conform, free from listening to others who want to create a life for you that you do not want to live.

Authenticity means taking a lot of distress away, which is the kind of stress that causes the above mentioned problems for body, mind and spirit.

Living an authentic life means being fulfilled with what you do, living in a healthy body, with a peaceful mind and  a happy spirit and I´d love to invite you to the adventure of experiencing the real you.

Components of authentic living

Courage

To act in spite of doubt

Integrity

To be true to yourself first, then to others

Perseverance

To keep going when the going gets tough

Focus

To know where you want to go or what you want to achieve

Structure

To find your way back when you have to go a detour

Support

To have a shoulder to lean on and guidance along the way

The moral of the story: it’s never too late to start living on purpose and with authenticity. It doesn’t matter WHEN you start, only IF you do.

What are you doing on a consistent basis that is not really you? That you have been influenced to do from others who thought it would be good for you?

Where have you sacrificed your true self or parts thereof  for a job or a relationship that gave you security because it was easier, you felt you had no other choice or pursuing your dream seemed not to be appropriate at that time? Is that still true today?

What could you do to bring some flavour back into your own life? What was is that you always wanted to do? How can you incorporate it in your current life?

If you have difficulty creating a meaningful environment, Transition Guidance has custom designed programs to help you learn to live authentically and with purpose. Call +617 4774 8146 or write to info[at]transitionguidance.com to find out how you too can live the life you were meant to live and make the difference you are born to make.